Silly
by Mayumi
Summary: it's my first fic in a few... well... a long time so please... it's a bit rusty... ^^;;; SenKosh... erm... and it's not really... that dark.. but it does need... a sympathetic soul... ^_^


Title: Silly  
  
Part: 1/1  
  
Author: Mayumi  
  
Genre: I don't know. I did this while I was VERY angsty. VERY VERY angsty. ^^;;; um. shounen-ai? Yaoi?  
  
Pairing: SenKosh  
  
Rating: PG-13. ^^;  
  
Archive: Yes? Oh. and. I don't know where this'll be put. can be ANYWHERE. ^_^ I mean. FFN. that's a big big yes. but. ^^;;; maybe you'd like to take it? ^^;;; *disillusioned*  
  
Email: mayumi.chan@email.com]  
  
Warning: OOC, that's the greatest warning I can give. next is the incoherence and the stupidity and at some point. it may become disturbing and. well. confusing!~! ^_^ it confuses me so. oh. and some parts are agitating because it's too. repetitious? I mean, I couldn't think of a better dialogue. sorry for the. redundancy. AN: erm. I have to say. I lost all sense of reality for a moment. ^:^ or I woke up to reality and found out that all my fics are major OOC. oh. and did you notice that I mostly write SenKosh? But I like MitKo more. ^^;;; weird. ~.~  
  
Disclaimer: I so do not own anything. before you can sue me I just want to say that. I have no money. all of it's in the bank. ^^;;; cause I can't keep money in my hands. cause me only thirteen and I'm easily fooled.  
  
This is for Madiha-nee. ~^-^~ cause she loves SenKosh very much and. she was the first person I thought of when I woke up at 5:30. ^^;;; I don't know why though.  
  
  
  
  
  
" Koshino wait up!" Sendoh yelled for the 5th time as the freshman lad was walking as briskly as humanly possible. Koshino did not even bother to look back, like the last few times the other freshman called.  
  
" Koshino!" Sendoh began running at top speed, " what is up with you? I mean. I was just going to ask if we have practice tomorrow," the spiky- haired freshman scratched the back of his head.  
  
" None," Koshino answered placidly, then walking on his way too.  
  
" Don't be shy around me ne? I'm you're team mate." Sendoh raced with the fast boy again, " in fact, we're classmates."  
  
" I know," Koshino whispered, he turned right after not wanting to look back and see Sendoh anymore.  
  
Sendoh looked heart-broken, no one had dared to snob him before.  
  
This was the start of their rocky relationship and this was the start of Sendoh's immense interest in Koshino.  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ (After a year.)  
  
" Koshino! What do you think you're DOING? You're supposed to be shooting! That's what you do. you don't FAIL at that!" Taoka-sensei yelled at teen again, " I don't know HOW you got that number 6 jersey of yours when you don't even know how to play proper ball! Sendoh plays better than you!"  
  
" Sensei. of course Sendoh-san plays better than him," Aida voiced out, trying to save the poor teen from too much bantering, " I mean. sir, it's understandable, Sendoh-san has more potential to be a star than all of us, it's just that he's never on time, and he's so lazy at times, that's why Koshino-san got the number 6 jersey, and I think that Koshino-san is doing well, I mean, he's only human."  
  
" I don't need to hear anything from you Hikoichi!" Taoka-sensei yelled, " either you play your ass off or I take you out of the starting line! Got that Koshino?"  
  
" Sir. I'm not even on the starting line." Koshino whispered meekly, " and I know that I don't play as well as Uozumi-sempai, Ikegami-sempai and Sendoh-san demo. I do try my best," Koshino shook his head sadly, " it's just that my best isn't enough for you."  
  
" Damn right it isn't! Look at Fukuda! He doesn't play well too but he pushes himself to the extreme! Not like you! I don't see you doing anything well at all!" Taoka yelled, " in fact, if you don't pick up your game I'll throw you out of the team!"  
  
" Sensei! You can't." murmurs from the team erupted, as hushed whispers from outside also came to and fro.  
  
" I can. and I'll prove I can, mark my words Koshino." Taoka shook his head sadly as he surveyed the boy as tall as him, " you'll make a nice player boy. you need to open up a bit," he muttered sadly, " dismissed."  
  
When all of the players left, Koshino's knees gave way to his crying he began pounding the floor with his fist, not knowing if he can do anything anymore.  
  
" Hey. need my help?" an anonymous voice asked, making Koshino's head jerk upwards, " I mean, we're team mates, it's kinna like my thing to help you."  
  
" I don't need your help." Koshino shook his head as he angrily stomped off. Sendoh looked confused at to what he had done to the male, he just couldn't understand sometimes.  
  
" What IS your problem?" Sendoh decided to confront the shy but hot headed teen, " I don't understand why you dislike me so much, explain to me what is your problem with me!"  
  
" You know what my problem is. you REALLY want to know what my problem is? YOU'RE my problem Sendoh. YOU'RE THE PROBLEM! I hate you! I hate you for being too perfect, being so smart, so rich, so popular. so. so. everything I'm not and you have everything I don't have! Friends, family? I don't have those. and. I'm. jealous of you. I don't understand why I can't have the things you have. why I can't be as lucky as you are. why I can't be you." Koshino yelled, the tears flowing freely and steadily from his eyes, " and I don't understand why but. even though I hate you. I can't bring myself to hate you totally. and I'm so lost. so. lost." Koshino ran out from the gym leaving Sendoh in a daze, when he, Sendoh, realized that he had fallen in love with those fierce eyes and that fiery soul underneath the eyes. And all that he wanted to do was embrace the man, and feel his real warmth, and he wanted to be the one who brought life into Koshino's life. (Did you get that? ^^; cause I didn't. *looks away quickly*)  
  
" Just you wait Koshino. I'm coming after you." Sendoh whispered to himself as he turned to take a shower and closed the gym for the night.  
  
/\/\/\/\  
  
" How can you be so STUPID?" a lady who had long black hair, eyes that were glaring daggers at the moment and thick eyebrows that were drawn so close that they'd be merged together if they were any closer asked the poor boy called Koshino.  
  
" Gomen Okaa-san. I didn't do it on purpose." Koshino bowed, grimacing in pain as his mother slapped him another time, " please forgive me."  
  
" Let me repeat the question. how can you be stupid?" his mother gritted her teeth, both hands on her waist then she began tapping her foot in impatience.  
  
" I. I don't know mother, I think it was when. when. I was born." Koshino managed to choke out in fear, " I'm so sorry mother, I'll try better next time."  
  
" What do you MEAN next time? You've failed me more than enough! Go!" she yelled, her perfectly manicured finger pointed at the wall, " you're nothing but trash and I don't need trash lying around!"  
  
" No. please. another chance." he began to cry again, he had been crying more than he ever had.  
  
" Tears? TEARS? You never even bothered to shed a tear for your father. you conceited ass! You cry for yourself but don't give a thought to your hapless father?" she started screaming now, " I don't care if you don't have food and DIE. get out of my house! Get OUT!!!" she yelled, pushing Koshino out of the house. Or trying to anyway.  
  
" No. please. I beg for another chance. that's all I'm asking for. please mother. please, I beg you." Koshino looked almost broken, his spirit was almost nothing and the fire in his eyes looked dead.  
  
" Don't call me mother! And take your shitty clothes, take your ass out of this house NOW!" she yelled before going in a huff, taking out a ratty bag and throwing all his clothes inside. " There? Happy? GO!"  
  
She then grabbed him by the scruff of Koshino's neck throwing him out.  
  
" I don't ever want to see your face again!" his mother yelled, slamming the door in his face. Koshino's shoulders started to shakes slightly, then chuckles were heard from him, soon it grew into laughing and very soon a laughing fit. But laughter grows into tears and this was the case as his shoulders violently shook and his eyes were with tears.  
  
" Why am I never loved?" Koshino whispered to himself as he wandered listlessly into the dark night.  
  
/\/\/\/\  
  
As Koshino was walking down the street, he bumped into a man, who was jogging his way, and as per usual, Koshino scrambled up, ready to scream at the man when he saw who it was. But as he saw the 'man' Koshino got tongue- tied.  
  
" Oh. it's you." Koshino looked at the ground as he remembered what he said a while ago, " um. I'm really sorry. I don't know what got into me." His head jerked up as he felt Sendoh's hand on his shoulder.  
  
" Well. now I found you and were going to my apartment," he grinned, leading Koshino into a nearby condominium, Koshino gaped at the size as he was being pushed towards the elevator. In the elevator, Koshino shifted from one foot to another.  
  
" I don't need your pity." Koshino whispered, as he saw Sendoh looking at him tenderly. Sendoh looked at him weirdly.  
  
" Say what?" Sendoh asked, not hearing what Koshino had murmured.  
  
" I said, I don't need your pity," Koshino looked at Sendoh fiercely, having more bravery, Sendoh blinked in astonishment.  
  
" Eh? Can you repeat that again?" Sendoh smiled innocently, Koshino's fist and forehead began to grow veins.  
  
" I said, I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!" he yelled in Sendoh's ear, making Sendoh wince. Still, Sendoh smiled.  
  
" Ah. but who said I was giving you pity? I want to help you," Sendoh said simply, then going out of the elevator, " this is my apartment." Sendoh pointed at the glamorous space. Koshino's jaw dropped.  
  
" Eh??? This is the PENTHOUSE."  
  
" Yeah. my Dad gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday, told me that I was already a man and I should manage on my own." Sendoh laughed as he got his keys from his back pocket. " I still don't know how to cook though. and the maid just gets vexed when I try to."  
  
" I didn't think you were that rich," Koshino mumbled.  
  
" Ah? I'm not rich, I'm just the heir of my dad's fortune or something like that and I have to go to the factory sometimes, I envy you actually, you aren't pressured, you don't need to know how to manage this big conglomerate that I can't even understand and you're the valedictorian, well, you WILL be we just hadn't gotten our finals yet," Sendoh laughed, " and besides, the maid doesn't live-in, Dad doesn't trust me with a woman, and I tell you. that maid is hot." Koshino nodded as he stood on the placemat, not wanting to enter the house fully.  
  
" Eh? What are you doing there? Come in." Sendoh chuckled slightly, " I don't understand what you have with that placemat but I'll get jealous," Sendoh then looked exasperatedly at the teen near the door and pulled him when he still wouldn't move.  
  
" I don't want to dirty your floors." Koshino grumbled, " I don't need this from you," he continued, " why can't you just leave me alone?"  
  
" I can't leave you alone, cause I see that you need me. that's your bathroom, take a bath or something so that we can eat," Sendoh pointed at a closed door, " take your time too." Koshino shook his head.  
  
" Do you want me to bathe you?" Sendoh asked, Koshino shook his head even harder, " aw. shucks, I was hoping you will but, you do have to take a bath, I mean, you look so. dirty and that's not the way to treat your host right? So take a BATH!" Sendoh laughed as he went to see what was in the fridge.  
  
Koshino shook his head as he went in the bathroom just to gape for a few more minutes.  
  
/\/\/\/\/\  
  
" Ne. why are you doing this?" Koshino asked as Sendoh and him were by the fireplace, Koshino was sitting on the couch, wearing a white shirt and black shorts while Sendoh was on the floor wearing Ryonan colours.  
  
" Because I want to?" Sendoh blinked, " I don't know, I don't usually need a reason to do the things I do, so I don't have a reason, I just wanted to help ne?"  
  
" You didn't need to, and besides, I treat you so badly," Koshino looked down at his hands, " I don't see why you can be so tolerant with a miscreant like me."  
  
" You?" Sendoh started laughing like a hyena, " I don't know what you're talking about. you're the most perfect. er. I mean, you're a great person."  
  
" I'm not." Koshino blushed as he melted in Sendoh's blue eyes, " I. I think I should be going now." Koshino mumbled as he quickly gathered his things.  
  
" I don't think so, you're staying with me," Sendoh beamed, " and there's nothing you can do about it actually," Sendoh nodded as he had planned this while they were eating, " I mean, I DO need a companion, and you don't even have to pay rent! Cause we can be these two buddies in that sorta dorm thing, but it's free! You can ask your mom," Sendoh looked as if ready to bounce around now if it wasn't for his, 'cool' persona.  
  
" I don't know Sendoh, I don't think your father would like that." Koshino muttered as he stared at Sendoh, not believing if this guy was serious or not.  
  
" Ah? Dad? I don't think he cares now for my welfare, well for the business maybe, but not for me and my personal life, we're like this, we're close through business, we're not close with personal matters, makes matters less complicated," Sendoh nodded more, " and besides, he knows I have a hard head and that I won't listen to his every word now, besides, I like you, just as friends please, and there's nothing he can do to make me stop liking you because you're the first person to reject me romantically and I believe we can be good friends."  
  
" You talk too much," Koshino whispered, finally, a person who liked him.  
  
" Do I? I didn't notice!" Sendoh began to laugh, " oh. wait, I'll lead you to your room."  
  
" I have a room?" Koshino's eyes widened, making him totally innocent looking.  
  
" Well, it's the guest room, but it's gonna be your room, and besides, I never get guests. cept the family, and they have their own rooms." Sendoh shrugged, and led Koshino into a big blue room with a four-poster bed w/ blue curtains in the middle.  
  
" Well, hope you like it, I'll be going to my room now." Sendoh went inside Koshino's room and opened an adjoining door, " see. we can go in and out every time we like!" Sendoh's bubbly persona made Koshino smile, even just a bit, making Sendoh daze for a while, then blush.  
  
" I'll. be sleeping now. Nite." Sendoh waved, leaving the door open. And what happened just now made Koshino smile even more.  
  
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  
  
In the middle of the night, Sendoh woke up to hear somebody crying.  
  
' Koshino!' Sendoh thought as he ran through the door that was adjoining their rooms. Sendoh immediately ran to the bed and search for Koshino under the covers, when he found a small teen whimpering beneath the sheets, so unlike the man he knows his heart immediately melted. His arms found their way to the other's waist, then rocking them both gently, whispering soothing words into the others ear.  
  
Slowly, Koshino's eyelids opened, his brown eyes were with tears. He felt that he was too weak, he had been crying too much, he had cried for the third time that day.  
  
" Ne. are you okay?" Sendoh asked, his concern for Koshino evident, Koshino nodded his head, wiping some of the tears threatening to come out.  
  
" I'm. too weak. boys weren't meant to cry." Koshino's shoulders were still shaking, so much had happened that night and he was so lost now. " I don't know if I am."  
  
" You will be." Sendoh whispered softly, " I'll make sure of that."  
  
" You don't need to spend precious moments for me. I don't need you," Koshino whispered hoarsely, " I don't need you to be with me, I don't want you, I don't care about you. so you shouldn't care about me."  
  
" But you love me. and I know it." Sendoh smiled softly, " I know you do so it's useless to say I'm wrong."  
  
" I DON'T love you!" Koshino yelled, " I don't I don't! If THAT'S why you brought me into this. this. DUMP of yours. then I should be leaving now cause you don't NEED someone to love you, your so well loved already! Because I DON'T love you! Bring one of those fan girls of yours, they'd be delighted!" Koshino jumped from the bed falling flat on his face as he realized that Sendoh had a hand on his ankle. "Let GO of me!!!"  
  
" I won't. because you may not love me, but II/I do, and there's nothing you can do or say to make me stop loving you, because it's like telling me to stop breathing, or stop living, because I need you like I need the air and I feel that I won't need anything ever again when I'm with you, and. I just know that you and me are meant to be," Sendoh laughed his speech out, " no. that was so not prepared." Koshino was too stunned to speak or move, but Sendoh, Sendoh knew just what he wanted, so he kissed Koshino on the cheek.  
  
" I don't want to be too rough on you. you should sleep on it, there isn't any practice tomorrow anyways," Sendoh laughingly winked at Koshino and sauntered off into his room. Koshino who was still stunned had an evident blush on his cheeks.  
  
" I. I. I." he mumbled again and again as he gently fell asleep, thinking about what he felt for the spiky-haired teen.  
  
At about five in the morning Koshino had woken up, his mind still not registering his surroundings and felt out of habit that he should cook, cooked breakfast for two people, as always. He set up a tray nicely as always. And still, he did not know that what he was doing was still absurd. He didn't recognize the changes in his surroundings and he felt totally at home. He rapped at the door next to the kitchen calling softly, while balancing a tray on the other arm.  
  
When Koshino heard a moan of some sort he went in and silently shook the other figure that was entangled in bed sheets and quilts. When the other did not want to wake up, he sighed exasperatedly, and began shaking harder. These were the days when ' Kaa-san' didn't seem to want to get up.  
  
" Mother. mother, wake up, the food will get cold if you don't." Koshino whispered while shaking the other, when he found that the body was still refusing to get up, he got mad and got the bell he had always kept in a space we shall call 'unknown'.  
  
" What do you want?" Sendoh murmured, it was not customary for him to get up so early on a weekend, hell it wasn't even normal for him to wake up early when it was a weekday.  
  
" I. you're not kaa-san." Koshino blinked as he looked at Sendoh closely, their noses touching and their lips an inch apart, " you. you look like Sendoh! Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!" But Sendoh, being the more creative person that he was held Koshino's waist with his feet.  
  
" So what were you saying again?" Sendoh muttered still sleepy, " Hiro-kun. why did you wake me up?"  
  
" I. I was going to tell my kaa-san to eat. but. you're not her." Koshino blinked, " you don't look like a girl you know."  
  
" Un. so you have breakfast?" Sendoh perked up, " I'm always up for breakfast!"  
  
" Eh? Ah. here." Koshino pushed the tray towards Sendoh's direction, " I'll just eat outside." Koshino waved at Sendoh in a daze when he realized that Sendoh wasn't his kaa-san. (okay. so he's a bit slow. but. I mean. habit right? ^^;; cause I sometimes forget in the morning also and remember when I'm already about to eat. like. when it's somebody's birthday. ^_____^ hahaaaa~)  
  
/\/\/\/\/\ ==== I just found this out. yup. and I thought it was cute. ^_^  
  
" Uh. Koshi? Are you all right?" Sendoh peeked meekly at Koshino who was doing household chores, " you know. there's a maid to do that."  
  
" Uhm." Koshino blinked, " Oh. it's not my house right? So what CAN I do?" Koshino muttered angrily as he realized he was not supposed to clean also, " I'm not supposed to cook and I'm not allowed to clean. can I garden?"  
  
" You sure do like to move around!" Sendoh laughed, seemingly forgetting about the last night, Koshino just looked sore at Sendoh but he always lo9oked that way.  
  
" I have nothing to do!" Koshino seemed to repeat himself, " maybe I can wash some clothes?"  
  
" No! You cannot do ANYTHING you cannot cook, you cannot clean you cannot launder. maybe gardening? You can teach me!" Sendoh flashed his famous smile and Koshino blushed a bit for he himself started to remember the incident between them.  
  
" So. where's the garden?" Koshino blinked slightly, he didn't seem to have an idea on how these rich people run their lives but Sendoh just started to laugh more.  
  
" We don't have a garden but we DO have a balcony. that's where the plants are." Sendoh then grabbed Koshino's hand and started pulling him to a large balcony. The amazing size fit a small swimming pool and some parts with grass. Sendoh scratched his head slightly, sheepish.  
  
" Uh. this is what I have so far. grass and a pool." Sendoh grinned weakly as Koshino's eyes grew again. " But this can be your place or something? It's somewhat a peaceful place ne? This can be yours then. Mine's in the den. I go there when I need some time to think or something."  
  
" Okay. I'm leaving." Koshino grumbled. He went to 'his' room and grabbed his luggage. When he was about to leave the door Sendoh's hand turned up to grab him.  
  
" Why?" Sendoh's face was showing hurt now. He still did not understand the mind of the boy standing in front of him, the man he had slowly fallen in love with.  
  
" Why what? I don't need your pity like I told you! This is too much you know. I don't think I can take all this, this is like alms being given to me and I don't think that I'm that special and I don't like you even! I hate you! I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you!!!" Koshino cried in all one breath in fact he was about to say more when he felt a pair of warm lips descend on his.  
  
" Rmmmprh." Koshino managed to yell as Sendoh's lips pressed harder on his. The possessiveness and gentleness of the kiss seemed to loosen up Koshino as Sendoh still persisted in delivering his little gift. or profession of love. Koshino felt all tingly all over and so did Sendoh. In these little flashes of energy they both felt warmth. Warmth that they had both never felt before. Sendoh pulled away slightly. His lips a centimetre away from Koshino's, he opened his mouth to speak.  
  
" I. I don't think I'm allowed to feel this way. I.I've thought I've been in love with so many people but I have never been this obsessed, this jealous over a person. and that person is you. And if you won't take my love then I'll just spend all my time feeling sad, lonely and blue and I won't ever forget you but I know I won't ever love anyone as I am saying I love you. And. and. if you ever take this love of mine I'll be the happiest man on earth. well maybe one of them but. but.there's more I want to say. I. I. I need you." Sendoh whispered against Koshino's lips but what surprised him was when Koshino kissed him with such ferocity, it had seemed to the man that Heaven was on earth.  
  
After a few moments that was shared with that kiss, a fierce hug followed, then the salty tears of the man that had just learnt what love had meant dripped.  
  
And there was nothing more to say because in troubles you will always find a light.  
  
~Owari~ 


End file.
